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ENTROPY

by N170

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1.
Split 01:58
How far will you go? Do you doubt your aspirations? You’ve been split into pieces; How many are there? Two exact halves? As many cells as there are in your body? Somewhere between eight and twenty, all uneven fragments? Five, one for each sense? Three like nesting dolls, each piece a distinct layer? It’s hard to tell Even when they’re separated they still feel connected somehow
2.
Vacuum 04:37
When I look out across the water At the churning and unrest With eyes that reach like outstretched hands I feel the vacuum in my chest How I wish to ask you now Throughout all these gaps in time If the memories of this place have ever crossed your mind In the place I used to keep your love The vacuum grew as time elapsed And the air thickened with smoke I tried not to let my lungs collapse How I wish to ask you now Throughout all these years untied If you’ve ever noticed how this all played to our demise I think that all the time And I meant to ask you Did you suffocate, my love? No one ever comes back here once they’ve hung around too long When all their favourite things turn to ashes on their tongue Overwhelming difference Waves that fall in from above From the black hole that tugs at the heels of every kind of love
3.
Swing Set 00:37
4.
WWWWW 03:39
Let me in Let me in Let me in Let me in I want to see you lower down Home among the plastic crowns I want to see you lower down All fragmented and unbound I want to see you lower down Hollow bones not so highbrow now I want to see you lower down Averting your gaze while I’m around So let me in Let me in Let me in Let me in
5.
Regular Mind 02:34
I’m paying for it I can’t ignore it No longer dreaming Of something more I made my choices I am the voices I hear them screaming My throat is sore Pressure Self-inflicted damage I can’t afford to heal Don’t look beneath the bandage You don’t want that reveal I must stay open, bleeding I’m peeling back the scab Stability receding With one thing left to grab; I need those honoured numbers That represent success I need them to make sense of All the boredom and distress Please quantify my merit And tell me what it’s worth To slit my throat and hit the ground And complete your make-work Behind your eyes A regular mind Won’t show you mine Better to hide
6.
Manifest 02:18
I know why you worry We watch them pass Hundreds of latex hands tied to Professional insomniacs They march through the waiting room All shrugs and bagged eyes I fall asleep sitting up And wake to the sunrise She keeps me company Through the target mark But her powers can’t reverse the poison once it starts My soul is a balloon Half Light I plays on a loop I’m taken somewhere bright and far away Scheduled for a new set of scars today Test the limits of my perception Feel the pain of true disconnection I’ve been misjudged so gravely I don’t think they’re going to save me I struggle to wake But when I do I have meaning
7.
Reset 05:13
The violence of the month of march Tearing up the loathed and loved at once I welcome it with open arms At home in the carnage It feels different now Purpose delivered with my undoing We oppose each other in fate Protection at the base I long to haunt the world Or fall into its fabric Does my ghost resent the vessel for returning from the brink? The memory of a butterfly Disassembled yet maintained Events with a line to cross Am I on the other side? Denial is a hopeful lie Colours change and break it down Containers within containers Green is the world We drive by and watch The weight of ice crack even the strongest trees in half And we know it I’ll be back again, back again Everything has changed Everything has changed Everything has changed Everything has changed Everything has changed Everything has changed Everything has changed Everything has changed In the back of my mind I know its the same Necessity is not the one requirement for change
8.
Stalker 01:31
Lay me down in a shallow pool That corrodes with time A resting place for wicked things A purifying grave The porous lining of the tunnel body Lets the light shine through Industrial intestinal tract This place might digest us both But I let you go in first In hopes that I could bear witness Welcome home, darling Don’t forget You can never leave the same way you came in
9.
She might be bioluminescent, the boundaries of her skin are blurred I notice but don’t ask about it, I’m more polite with thoughts unheard She asks if I would be so kind to let her do my hair in her room A practice run for a later date, a strange request I don’t refuse So many times I felt the ether while behind repurposed walls They might have been haunted or imbued with heavy poisons set to dissolve What held my interest in the interim between imaging and receipts Was how that place could slowly make its way into your identity The veil is thin The lights are dim No longer white hot in the eyes Commercial break A liminal space The threat has been neutralized It doesn’t last It’s quickly passed And all relight the spark To greet the intruders Appease the colluders And try to get home before dark But I long For moments Like those fishtail braids Many years removed from then But they were made off limits Tucked away in glass cabinets Still visible but just out of reach (Give me) Fodder for more anecdotes so we can close the gap (You can) Show me all the qualities that you keep under wraps While we’re here behind the curtain let’s not play pretend Let’s unveil unspoken dreams right up until the end (She’s all) Smiles and cold fingertips, precise and gentle touch (With a) A mind that’s sharp and practical but yearning for so much Why does she accept all of the chaos that I bring? When I look back it feels like my heart breaks for anything But I long For moments Like those fishtail braids Many years removed from then But they were made off limits Tucked away in glass cabinets Still visible but just out of reach But I long For moments Like those fishtail braids Many years removed from then But they were made off limits Tucked away in glass cabinets Still visible but just out of reach (Doctors White rooms I’m so Consumed We’re here Past two In our Costumes)
10.
Inhibition leaves me with such ease when I’m with you But please don’t mistake this mellow chaos for the truth The person you imagine me to be is not the same As the mask I wear that serves me well to play my favourite game I’m so easy going if you get me in the mood But I’ll observe the trends and tactics while I’m pursued I like to see how far they go with no more than a poke And I hope that they don’t take offense if they realize it’s a joke Inhibition leaves me with such ease when I’m with you But please don’t mistake this mellow chaos for the truth The person you imagine me to be is not the same As the mask I wear that serves me well to play my favourite game You’ve got so much going for you, a simple way to escape But the truth of you is much more bitter and leaves an aftertaste A hefty price is paid for trying to forget all that I’ve wrought And this game of mine might be a bit more dangerous than I had thought Inhibition leaves me with such ease when I’m with you But please don’t mistake this mellow chaos for the truth The person you imagine me to be is not the same As the mask I wear that serves me well to play my favourite game Hungover All of this leftover Bullshit from another time Balance isn’t on my side I’m dying My body is unwinding Why do I feel this relief Slowly corrupted by grief I wish I were an island I wish I were alone Being seen is overwhelming I reject being known I wish I could erase you I wish I didn’t act Exposure of the vulnerable Not worth it to distract
11.
Neurogenesis 02:07
I can feel it cracking I know you see it too Don’t look away from this I want you to watch See what happens when you try to do what I do My mind is splitting My mind is splitting open Do you want to see inside? Are you ready to see? Are you ready? I don’t have a choice No one has a choice but to sit back and watch You can see it Falling on the pavement Baking in the sun Do I look okay? Do I seem fine? You don’t know violence like I do You don’t know You don’t know You never fucking know What to do what to say how to act What to do what to say how to act But I can show you if you look very carefully, very closely Very carefully, very closely Very carefully, very closely Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on, you know you want to try it Everybody wants to try it Everybody wants to try it and see how it is Everybody wants to try it out one time Everybody wants to try it at least one time Just to see what it feels like I hate you I hate you so much Don’t fucking look at me Don’t fucking look at me
12.
Centipede 04:16
The sight of my blood doesn’t scare me anymore Not since all the times I’ve watched it drip along the floor It seems you do not feel the need to mask your true intent Fragile egos, muscled frames, so easily ferment This world is a carnivore with teeth and senses honed I can show you how it feels when they sink into your bones I’ve heard you say it’s useful, the pain it leaves behind Your screaming makes me wonder if you’ve changed your mind Hear, hear! I think your flesh would look good in between my teeth I see the murder in your smile But I’m familiar with your type of violence You there! What do you dream about taking away from me? I imagine it’s pride you seek to break How sweet and unsurprising I’ve died a thousand ways, a thousand times Let’s put some novelty back into demise You don’t seem to notice the danger that you’re in But soon enough you’ll hear the bell that signifies my win (You’ll know you’ve lost) Allow me to devour you and place your life in mine (It’s coming now) I’ll be sure to let you feel it while I take my time (You’ll feel it all) You can turn malignant if your soul remains intact (Let’s see you try) If you’re bold enough to think that you can make an impact Hear, hear! I think your flesh would look good in between my teeth I see the murder in your smile But I’m familiar with your type of violence You there! What do you dream about taking away from me? I imagine it’s pride you seek to break How sweet and unsurprising So predictable it’s almost amusing (I eat you) A lack of awareness so profound (You eat me) You confuse me with prey here (We fall apart) An error that will see you unwound (It’s going down) You assume your weapons work but (Don’t look away) I’m a witch and it’s my turn (This is my time) Your arsenal is nullified now (I’ve got your number) You can’t destroy what can’t be burned (Your life is mine) Hear, hear! I think your flesh would look good in between my teeth I see the murder in your smile But I’m familiar with your type of violence You there! What do you dream about taking away from me? I imagine it’s pride you seek to break How sweet and unsurprising
13.
Hide 02:58
Run While you can Cos you won’t get another chance if they find you again Caught Spiral down Broken bones rerun the splitting tracks beneath the ground Where’s your god? Dead and gone Encased and preserved with its core dissolved False relief Holds your belief With gore and hope from this motif Held aloft Salvation lost Your pride is not the only cost My faith is bruised My will refused And to the end this body used Can you help me? Can you give this pain some meaning? Can you save me? Do you feel what I’m feeling? You’re so sick I feel it Permeate It’s innate A cursed site My birth right It decays I remain Run While you can Cos you won’t get another chance if they find you again Caught Spiral down Broken bones rerun the splitting tracks beneath the ground Run Run Run Run Hide Hide Hide Hide
14.
All the windows are made of eyes Phantom voyeurs customized How can I hide when I’m never alone And all these fears have overgrown Hit me hard I want to feel the living stars under my skin Supernova of reactive cells Diluted signals Cameras with silent shutters Invisible bodies remain Unfound and tucked away I’m so tired of the noise It’s loud today Sometimes my hips click And make plastic sounds Like barbies with bald heads and blacked out eyes Their inanimate souls immortalized When I’m on my own I feel the audience swarm But it doesn’t matter No, I love to perform I’ll put on a good show for Fourth dimensional viewing Life in circular patterns Carved into my mind I am Amnesiac Paranoid and loud Glass walls reverberating with Undifferentiated sound Digital blow out in tangible moments I am framed in thirds Feel my soul disintegrate on these sepia nights My eyes feel unsure of themselves when they look at the stars The violent twinkling artifacts of a time I can’t recall When I’m on my own I feel the audience swarm But it doesn’t matter No, I love to perform I’ll put on a good show for Fourth dimensional viewing Life in circular patterns Carved into my mind They’re looking in They’re looking in They’re looking in They’re looking in
15.
Psychrophile 03:41
A somber month Muted by fog With quiet death shielding dormant life A dignified And silent time Induces temporary afterlife Greyscale landscape Ever-changing scenes Bear witness to the transformations underneath At first it’s subtle But can never be denied The carcass stays equipped with teeth long after it dies I’m sinking into the ground The roots are pulling me down Just like I’d hoped they would do Everything falls into place This body will be erased And someday reborn anew I suit the month of my birth With secrets kept to unearth A psychrophile brought to light The winter comes on so slow And lengthens all our shadows Prepare yourself for it’s bite

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released October 31, 2022

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N170 Ontario

gothic, electronic, independently made villain music

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